Entering ChinaParenting is a practice. It is the children who are raised, but it is the parents who practice.
Many parents are puzzled, wondering since when their relationship with their children has become so cold.
This kind of “coldness” is difficult for parents to accept and they are puzzled. Where exactly does the problem lie?
In fact, it takes time for a child to become cold-hearted. Children’s indifference to their parents often begins after three disappointments.
Many netizens have this feeling: when you want to chat with your parents and confide in them about your own affairs, your parents have no patience at all. They either say they are busy or that it is nothing at all.
Every time I want to say something, they won’t listen. Not only will they not want to listen, but they might even scold me and say I’m “immature”.
This situation is very common in East Asian families. Parents also feel helpless. How could a few words of reprimand lead to such serious consequences?
Little do people know that when children encounter difficulties and troubles and confide in their parents, if the parents do not empathize and accept them but instead deny and scold them, they will only push the children into an endless abyss.
Many parents are accustomed to regarding themselves as their children’s “life mentors”, lecturing too much and listening too little to their children.
In fact, many times, what children need is not teaching, but the expression and recognition of emotions. At this time, as parents, it is enough for us to be good listeners.
Children who are always rejected will gradually lose trust in their parents, will not easily open up to their parents, and will refuse to communicate with their parents. The indifference of the parent-child relationship is inevitable.
From childhood to adulthood, many of our friends grew up listening to scoldings like “You are not allowed to be proud” and “You can’t get your tail up.”
It seems that as long as their children have a little achievement, parents will be very nervous. They keep telling you to be humble and learn endlessly.
But they forget that when children work hard to achieve a result and present it to their parents, what they need most is a hug and a big, strong thumbs up.
However, as parents, we often fail to meet our children’s inner needs, and instead use phrases like “don’t be proud”, which makes them feel disappointed.
The parents’ intentions are definitely not bad, they just understand that life is a long journey with many challenges ahead, and they don’t want their children to be discouraged when they achieve something.
Sometimes, a basin of cold water is poured on the child, and the child’s enthusiasm will be extinguished, and the estrangement between the child and his parents will arise.
When a child needs protection, if you choose to turn around and leave, it will be a pain that the child will never be able to let go of for the rest of his or her life.
Parents’ inaction may be the last straw that breaks the camel’s back for their children.
For children, parents are armor and a great wall. If even this line of defense is gone, the world will collapse for the children.
Children have only endless disappointment towards their parents. Even if they suffer great injustice in the future, they are unwilling to ask their parents for help.
Even because they have no parental support, some children have to learn to observe and adapt to their surroundings too early, thus developing a people-pleasing personality.
The education sector has always emphasized a concept: the parent-child relationship is more important than education itself.
If parents want to educate their children well, they must first establish a good parent-child relationship.
How to establish a high-quality parent-child relationship? In fact, these four sentences are enough.
Don’t rush to interrupt or judge, let the children feel that their voices are heard and their feelings are valued. Only by truly listening to children can we better understand them.
Everyone’s sense of self-identity and self-confidence initially comes from their parents. Parents’ affirmation and appreciation will give children confidence and courage, allowing them to have enough confidence to explore the world.
The best parent-child relationship is one without any additional conditions. Just because you are my child, I will stand firmly by your side under any circumstances.
Learning to accept is a compulsory course for parents. It is a respect for the growth rhythm of children and an acknowledgement of their personality and differences.
The true love that parents have for their children is not “I think you should be like this”, but “I understand how you are now”.
A good parent-child relationship is the basis for a child to be invincible in the world.
However, it is not easy to have a good parent-child relationship. I believe that every parent is groping their way forward.
In this long process, various mistakes are inevitable, leading to disharmony in the parent-child relationship.
However, as long as parents are willing to learn and make corrections and changes for their children.
One day, our relationship with our children will become warmer and more intimate as we grow and change.
Parenting is a practice. It is the children who are raised, but it is the parents who practice.
May all parents become better parents and better themselves through this practice!
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