Entering ChinaWhen you reach middle age, what you should look like: very quiet, nine points of temperament, eight points of assets, seven points of reality, three points of appearance, two points of confusion, and one point of self-knowledge
When I was 40 years old, one of my favorite sayings was:
If things are slow, they will be round, and if people are slow, they will be safe.
Everything that happens in daily life, except for life and death, is a trivial matter in my eyes.
Really, it’s not boasting.
My husband, my mother-in-law and I have the opposite personality.
They belong to the kind of thing where a small thing comes out of their mouths as urgent as if it were on fire.
As for me, in my husband’s words, I am a person who is not a big deal with me.
I think that all the questions in daily life don’t need to be too anxious to respond, you can sleep first, sleep and then talk about it, you can let the bullets fly for a while, and then talk about it after a while.
So, when people reach middle age, how should women manage their emotions?
Let’s talk a little bit about my methods, but of course, it’s only a superficial experience.
After all, I used to be a very emotional person.
First of all, you have to have an understanding that anytime, as long as you get angry, you lose, no exceptions. Whether it’s your parents, your parents, your parents-in-law, your husband, your son, your colleagues, your boss, really, as long as you are angry, you lose.
Of course, it’s not that you can’t get angry and lose your temper.
Of course you can, but your tantrum and anger can only be a means for you to deter the other person and tell them that you are not easy to provoke.
Instead, you’re really angry, you’re angry with yourself.
Since last year, I rarely lost my temper because I felt that it was too troublesome and not worth it, and there was no benefit in doing it after losing my temper except for my own anger, except for looking forward to the other party’s apology and the other party’s confession. The point is that there is no substantive problem that cannot be solved, not a single point.
Of course, in order to do this and not get angry casually, it is necessary to have a cognitive range, awareness in place, and cultivation in place, not to forcibly hold back the qi, if it is to hold it back, then it is better to spill the qi, at least it will not be able to hold back internal injuries.
I know, when you write this, you must be asking me again, I can’t control it, how should I cultivate?
Sister, Wang Po sells melons and boasts, follow and top my official account, so that you can receive my tweet notifications in time every day. Of course, if you have the habit of reading books, it is better, reading can be wise, reading can make people open, the heart is open, the pattern is bigger, naturally those little things and clowns will not take to heart.
Another point is exercise. I don’t know if you have noticed that those who have the habit of exercising on weekdays are more cheerful and happier.
Whether you are young and vigorous or middle-aged, exercise can stimulate hormones, secrete dopamine, and increase endorphins.
This year is the third year that I have been in sports, and the third year that I have benefited a lot. I don’t know if you have the habit of exercising?
If you have, it’s good, you can make a sports tie with Hee-hee, record the changes in our bodies together, and grow old happily together?!
If you haven’t already, it’s okay, you might as well start now, you might as well start with a brisk walk in the running park downstairs and follow the video for 20 minutes!
By the way, the topic of anger is not finished yet.
I don’t know if you have found out, getting angry really can’t solve any substantive problems.
A lot of times, instead of getting angry, it will.
You can calmly tell the other party your opinion, you can express your opinion with firm eyes and gentle tone, you can take a firm position to describe your demands, you can smile and say: I tell you why it’s wrong…… I don’t want to be anxious or angry with you, but I want you to think about it…… You’re in a bit of a hurry now, let’s talk about it sometime.
No matter how hot the problem is, you have to learn to deal with it cold.
You may ask me: Does your method work? Will he listen to you? Will your demands be met?
I’m telling you: not necessarily, and probably not. However, it is definitely much more useful than if you are in a hurry, lose your temper and stare at each other, and quarrel with each other! (No rebuttal will be accepted).
Finally, back to the title, when you are middle-aged, what you should look like is: very quiet, nine points of temperament, eight points of assets, seven points of reality, three points of appearance, two points of confusion, and one point of self-knowledge.
